This is a serious thing, kind of

Next week I will have an MRI to see how I am doing. My last scan was three months ago in early September and it looked good (no growth). For the past few months I have been very positive and have felt like chemo is working.

But now that I am close to having a new scan little doubts are creeping into my head. (No pun intended. Well, maybe the pun is a little intended.)

I was supposed to start my 10th month on Temodar tonight, but my platelet count is low. This doesn't mean anything as far as tumor is concerned, but my NP wants me to wait until next week to start chemo. So, essentially, I won't start the next round of chemo until after the next scan.

It is crazy how I go to work every day and live my "normal" life and forget about all this brain cancer stuff. I take anti-seizure meds on autopilot. I consume anti-oxidants, eat garlic, and stay healthy just because it is part of my life. It is my life. I live with cancer every day. This isn't a death sentence for me. I just have a manageable disease.

Then it is extra weird when I suddenly feel a bit of anxiety about all this. It's like, "Oh yeah, brain cancer. Shit, this is a serious thing I've got going on. Kind of."